How do you start?
These days I’m having trouble starting somewhere. Thoughts, words, paragraphs, piled up assignments, work and pretty much everything. My newsletter document has been open on my laptop for more than a month. I keep waiting for that spurt of energy to come for me to finish writing it at one go. But it doesn’t. It’s hard to begin when you have too many thoughts weighing you down.
I started off with an amazing thought yesterday but it led to nowhere. Everything these days feel a bit disorganised, and incoherent. I even tried sticking to one thing after a thousand try, but couldn’t make any progress.
Even now, it’s taking way too many tries for this simple task. The paragraphs feel too distant as if fragments of each and every one of my disorganised thoughts which run a thousand miles per hour are trying to make it stick somehow. It’s hard to start, it’s hard to stay on track and if i am lucky ill be able to say— it’s hard to finish.
I wanted to write today. Anything creative or maybe nonfiction. This writer’s block or whatever it is—it sucks. I have been thinking of a newsletter topic for quite some time now. It’s been what 5/6 months since the last one came out. And every time I think of something, the thought slips away. I can’t seem to follow that thought to a conclusion. And that spurt of energy hasn’t come to me in months either.
It’s quite frustrating when you want to get something out but you don’t know how to lay the foundation properly or worse— follow the lead.
Like yesterday I was thinking something that could have made for a great newsletter and that unusual short spurt of energy kicked it off. But now that I’m trying to recall what it was, I can’t seem to remember. Too easily distracted, too easily slipped out of my grip.
These days I have been thinking too hard, trying to jump over the fence to come up with some thought acrobatics in hopes of surprising myself. That’s the most fun part of thinking— venturing into the absurdities to amuse yourself with the most random discoveries.
“Would people be more careful about wet floors if they replaced the ‘Be Cautious’ signs with ‘The floor is Lava’?” Don’t you dare tell me these are categorised as shower thoughts and not part of your day to day thinking.
But whatever it is that I am trying and thinking these days, it all feels a bit banal, too forceful and not quite genuine. Some hackneyed thoughts and musings.
Looks like I’ll be stuck here with these thoughts for a while. Anyways, what was I thinking- oh right. How do you begin, again?
Because I really want to come to a conclusion.
[I have another newsletter coming out this week. I assure you it won’t be a random thought dump like this one. Before I drop my funky newsletter next week, I thought I would do a pre-newsletter prep. Thank you for being so kind, and reading so patiently. Like I mentioned, this newsletter and its readers are always in my thoughts like the thousand other things running simultaneously at the back my mind. And I hope you all are taking time out for yourself and staying healthy.]
where are you, usraat
where are you, usraat